Five
months. Lush green tropical summer, rich golden red autumn, bleached out bare grey branches,white of full-blown winter... the contrasts are shocking, the dramatic changes of light and colour play tricks
on a tropical brain, I am hallucinating, everything shimmers, I am underwater.
White people turn colourless in winter, their skin completely desaturates, transparent, bloodless, I walk through a city full of ghosts. The sidewalks are piled high with melted sugar.Black flowers grow in them.
This is what I see in films, art films where everyone is talking
animatedly and eating plates full of salad before wearing dark coats and
walking out into the cold searching for lost love.
I have to tell myself over and over that this life around me
is not film but reality, a tangible reality which I am within
and part of...but the darkness around me says otherwise,
I am inside a cinema theater, I am an observer watching my life in a story on
screen.